This Is The Web Site Of Samir

2004-05-05T00:10:00.000-05:00

Updated.

2003-04-01T00:29:00.000-06:00

Hurrah!

This site has been sorely neglected as of late, but what better way to revive it than to release what me and Dan have been working on for the past three months. That's right, true believers, the dream that was The Misadventures of Moe and Dan's Dad© was not forgotten. It was simply worked on and melded into the ball of Macromedia Flash perfection you will witness momentarily. Props go to Dan for his John Tesh and Carrot Top images and a special thanks goes to Brandon for the crazy techno music (perfectly cued to the fight scenes by myself). I may have gone overboard with all the flash animation, but I think it turned out very nice. Enjoy...

The Misadventures of
Moe and Dan's Dad
Episode I:
Carrot Top's Revenge

2003-03-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

I Regret Nothing

I lived how I fell...

...with my left hand.

2003-03-09T23:31:00.000-06:00

The Dream Is Dead, again

Then:

Now:

The End?

So Brandon pulled a Dan this weekend and sold out to the man by shaving his sweetass mohawk (that I masterfully meticulously melded (oooh alliteration (double parenthesis rule))). Some more people fell this weekend. I think a lot of you got the rules mixed up and forgot that you win the bet by staying in it the longest, not by getting out in the first five days. Ah, well. There's always next year. Don't forget to remind me if you're out or if I forgot to put you down. Take care people, and don't stop believing...

2003-03-06T20:44:00.000-06:00

Different Strokes For Different Folks

Alright, blogspot realized the error in its ways and begged my forgiveness so we're tight again, and its working right again. I was able to edit the left sidebar to accomodate a tab for the bet (with comments, so post your struggles there) and change the song as well (props to Dan for finding a song that was appropriate for the bet). So far, four good men have fallen. We must not let their defeat go in vain, as we continue the quest. It's what they would have wanted. However, I'm pretty sure Jesus is very disappointed in them. I was going to add comments to the table to describe how each person got out but decided against it. I felt that most people would then want to get out by getting some so they could brag about it, and no one would admit to self-stimulation. Plus, it would be more work for me and no one wants that. I'll update the chart at midnight again tonight, but I'll be at home over the weekend since I'm seeing Ben Kweller at the Metro tommorow night. So the next update should be Sunday night. In conclusion, stay strong men, and never forget the names of Foley, Assad, J.D., and Weiler (pussies)...

2003-03-05T03:39:00.000-06:00

Save Me, Jebus

I had a great idea for a song to play and I wanted to edit the side bar to accomodate The Lenten Bet, but apparently blogspot is undergoing maintenance or whatever so I can't change anything on the left side of the page. However, I did finish the chart and I do believe I did a damn good job (it even has a countdown for pete's sake, A COUNTDOWN!). Ahhh, it's good being an uber-nerd. Use the following link to access it and hopefully blogspot will stop being a jerk to me soon...

*THE LENTEN BET*

Good luck men, and godspeed...

2003-03-02T01:44:00.000-06:00

Dude, I'm Bored

(cue stereotypical deep male voice from movie previews)

ONE MAN:

ONE DESIRE:

ONE WAY IN:

NO WAY OUT:

So Brandon barged into our unlocked room around 4:30 P.M. today (Saturday) and woke us up (bastard). I was about to reprimand him for waking us up so early when he said, "I think I'm gonna shave my head." Never one to not help others, I said I would assist him (especially in something so totally awesome). Eventually our plans were altered a bit when we decided to shave his head into a mohawk. We were pumped. Just look at the focus on this man's face...

Of course, I had to partake in this. Witness the master at work...

...some more master...

Click ***HERE*** to download a video of me kicking Brandon's hair's ass. So all in all, we had some good wholesome fun and Brandon was really happy with how it turned out...

Oh yeah, and here's the hair that we totally kicked the sh** out of...

2003-02-26T03:17:00.000-06:00

You So Naughty, Spidey!

*EDIT #2* - Comments functioning again. Not that it really matters, because no one comments despite my basing the value of my life on how many comments I garner on my web site...

*EDIT* - Comments seem to be down again. I blame Jesus for converting to Islam...

I apologize for the lack of updatage but these last couple weeks have been devilish academic-wise. I should be back into the swing of things next week after my CS 125 midterm. In the meantime, here's a pic I've had for a while now of Spider-Man violating a sleeping Dan that just didn't fit into any previous post...

That should suffice for now. Man, that boy sleeps like a rock...

2003-02-17T18:02:00.000-06:00

Cheeze Pork Robot

*EDIT* - Comments are functioning again.

Today must be my day because I got mentioned on Heather's Site, Justin's Site, and Dan's Site. All of which are good posts too. But yeah, we went bowling today because it was a buck a game and this guy tried to fix a lane but got stuck:

I apologize for the crappiness of the picture but the lighting conditions were not in my favor. Then this happened to Dan:

Click the above picture to find out why. A few more hits like that and the old retainer tooth will be back in no time. Also, the comments are down apparently but should be working soon. But my blue balls are still functioning and that's really all that matters...

2003-02-15T15:31:00.000-06:00

"No Arms Or Legs? Here, Have Some Soup."

Move over Citizen Kane, Shawshank Redemption, and Good Burger (sorry Kel). I have witnessed the quintessence of cinematic perfection and it is...

..The Crippled Masters. What do you get when a person gets his arms cut off and another gets his legs cut off, and they become super pissed off and start kicking all sorts of @$$? I'll tell you what you get. You get magic. Pure Magic. Just look at how happy Brandon is from this masterpiece:

Believe me, not every movie makes Brandon say that. Speaking of believing, I am sure that not all of you believe that I have witnessed such a movie. Well if seeing is believing, simply click the below pictures to witness two videos of the Crippled Masters training so they can kick non-crippled @$$.

And of course, no movie classic is complete without a final showdown with the bad guy with a hunchback (a hunchback that is sometimes there, and sometimes not). Click below to view a clip.

Just for kicks, here's another video of the master with no arms getting all medieval on the hunchback with a stick, Donatello style. The really sad thing is that this is probably the only movie the handicapped masters would ever be able to make. Unless they make a sequel, which I pray is in production. So in conclusion, run, don't walk, to your local video store to buy The Crippled Masters and remember to never try anything like this at home...

2003-02-12T17:41:00.000-06:00

Woe To Me, and Horny Monkeys

Somebody stole my fu**ing hair dryer...

...and that makes me sad. Spider-Man tried to cheer me up, but even his awesome agility and dead baby jokes couldn't make me feel better. Thanks for trying man (by the way, it took no less than an hour to get Spidey to stand in that position...awesome agility my ass...). Someone also stole the life-size Michael Jordan cardboard thingie we had in our living space.

It takes a real sick individual to steal a man's blowdryer and Michael Jordan. Hopefully this individual will be brought to justice in a timely fashion and put to death. A horrible, horrible death with lions and stuff. On a lighter note, I meant to post this video earlier but the laziness was strong and the will was weak. Here's the third video from Andy and his chums, conveniently titled "Bad Monkey." Click ***here*** to download it. It's hilarious and probably my favorite of the three. Enjoy...

*EDIT* - Oh yeah, props to Dan for coming over (to my side of the room) to take the Spidey pic...you're a good man...except when you betray everyone you hold dear by getting a permanent tooth...sell-out...

2003-02-09T23:02:00.000-06:00

The Dream Is Dead

Then:

Now:

The End?

Happy Birthday, Dan. You selfish, selfish person...

2003-02-06T15:48:00.000-06:00

The Weez and Space Elevators

*EDIT* - I added some more friends' sites to my links section and Andy wants me to post this link so go there cuz it's funny and to everyone who keeps inquiring about the Moe and Dan's Dad comic: It will come out when it comes out. Leave me alone. I just want to live a normal life...like Michael Jackson...

I didn't make the above comic but it is from Pat Magroin's Weezer Adventures Site. Some good stuff there, especially if you know some background about the band. Anyways, class has been relatively easy so far but I have a feeling Physics will be bending me over soon. Today in Spanish we had to have a dialogue with the teacher and I was supposed to play a person who had lots of problems and the teacher would offer advice so I said that my family had died in a horrible car accident long ago and I was very depressed and she thought I was being serious. It was funny. I guess my sarcasm seeps through language barriers. But for some not so funny but definitely interesting things, go here to read about a unique alternative to the current method of space travel and go here to read some really mindboggling stuff to come in this century. Kinda nerdy, but both are good reads. Also, I added my current MP3 playlist to the sidebar on the left towards the bottom to show what songs I have in rotation. I dunno what use that could possibly serve but if you want any of them, you can download them off me through AIM's file sharing thing-a-majig. More content of my own is to come very soon...just be patient you cheeky monkeys...

2003-01-31T00:35:00.000-06:00

Finally...

CLICK HERE
(it's 3 mb so it may take a 'lil while to download depending on your connection)

*EDIT* - If you didn't get music from the above link, try clicking it now. It should work...

Dan and I hope you enjoyed the above link and we know Moe and Dan's Dad© will get into some real mischief very soon. Also, click here to download a sweet (illegal) movie I made with my digi cam of what it was like at Assembly Hall after Dee Brown made the 3-pointer to tie the game against Michigan. God, I wanted to bear his child. Anyways, I'll be busy this weekend but more updates are to come afterwards. Enjoy...

2003-01-30T00:25:00.000-06:00

Teaser IV - Every Rainbow Has Its Pot Of Gold

CLICK HERE

2003-01-29T14:42:00.000-06:00

Teaser III - Every Storm Has Its Rainbow

2003-01-28T00:43:00.000-06:00

Teaser II - Every Legend Has A Beginning

CLICK HERE

2003-01-27T00:52:00.000-06:00

Teaser I - Every Generation Has A Hero (or two)

2003-01-26T04:12:00.000-06:00

Sharp Chairs and Magic Chases

Yeah so Friday night I almost died...

Saju's chair was broken and had a sharp metal spike protruding upwards as I sat on it. It went right through my favorite jeans but luckily it didn't go any further. This was quickly followed by Saju's devilish laughter. If it was just a few inches to the right, then it could have gone into my butt and anus and made me die probably. That would have sucked. Speaking of men's butts, there are lots of them in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which I saw with Dan, Saju (the devil), and Jacob after my brush with death. Then we went to Alicia's and some people stole a keg from the 7th floor and I completely and utterly defeated Mora in table tennis. The highlight of the night was probably when Alicia set her hair on fire. Tonight (Saturday night) we went to Big Chapman's house for a party, then we went to Oliver's apartment and played videogames and watched an anime with a guy who looked like a girl cutting people in half which was totally awesome.

I meant to post this earlier but go **here** to download another sweet video from Andy and some of his Pennsylvania Avenue Residence Hall buds. It's not clay fighting but I do find it much more amusing. Also, I posted it on angelfire since it's a relatively big file so if the link goes down, bitch about it in the comments section. And lastly, Dan and I have begun our collaboration so make sure you check back here tommorow for something nice that will eventually culminate into something really nice...

2003-01-22T00:54:00.000-06:00

Extreme Clay Fighting

Andy sent me this hilarious video he made with his roommate Rich. Click *here* to download it. It's well done and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Gumby is shedding a tear somewhere. I also updated some stuff on the sidebar and reset the comments because most of it was outdated and/or contained one too many harsh comments towards Dan. I know I meant for this site to be a journal of sorts but I am slowly getting back in the groove and it should be updated regularly once again soon. Dan and I are also collaborating on something that should be released soon. Well, once we start it that is. Also, while writing this post I had to look up how to correctly spell "guarantee" and "disappointed." They still don't look right to me. It's good to be an enjuneer. More to come soon...

2003-01-19T20:40:00.000-06:00

Beligerrent Blonde Bosnians

Only got time for a quick post because I'm still unpacking. To make a long story short, I had an online conversation with a Bosnian the other day. Somehow she got my screen name on AOL's member directory search thingie. And thank God she did. Click here to read it. It's a comedic gold mine. I'll add more to this post later and possibly add pictures to the conversation too...

EDIT: updated the conversation link with pictures...

2002-12-13T02:12:00.000-06:00

Who Needs Studying When You Got An Answering Machine

I should be doing more important things but I just wanted to make a quick post that I thought you all would find humorous. Here's a recording of the two messages Dan and I currently have stored on our dorm phone. The first one is from good ole Moe, and the second one is from me calling Dan from our living space asking him to get me a Mountain Dew because I'm too lazy to get up. To get a visual to go with Moe's message, make sure you click here first.

Messages.mp3

By the way, that's my mom's arm holding the phone for my dad. She does that sometimes. Anyways, we never woke up that day, and Dan never got me the Mountain Dew. Some of the best messages fall on deaf ears I guess...

2002-12-09T23:24:00.000-06:00

McCrappertons, Crapper McCrappertons

As most of you know, I was sick with the stomach flu (although I blame it on Beef 'N Dogs' undercooked 1/2 lb. burger) last week and I missed a couple days of school because I was still at home. I puked my brains out that Sunday and I pooped a lot on Monday. The puking was pretty bad but all that pooping was actually kinda fun. Especially when it hurt, because then it feels really good when it finally comes out. Oliver deemed me "Mr. Crapper McCrappertons," hence the title of this blog. Speaking of crap, I've since had a crapola of work to make up and I've been busy as all hell. Now finals are comin' up next week so this site is not going to get many updates, at least not until after finals when I get back home (and hopefully get a digital camera). Feel free to keep posting comments or read my previous posts over and over again. Try reading them upside down or singing them aloud to extend their lifespan. But no matter what you decide to do, just don't go here. Rest assured, I have some funny stuff planned that should make up for this hiatus. So keep it real and here's to raising my CS 173 grade to at least a 35% (a C+)...

2002-11-22T05:03:00.000-06:00

It's Lonely Where You Are, Come Back Down

I haven't made an entry in the last couple days because I've been quite lazy and because I've been quite lazy. So I'll just make a larger post right now (right now meaning Thursday night althought it is technically Friday morning). The highlight of yesterday came when I received a call on my cell in the study lounge of IT, which of course is supposed to remain silent at all times. I glanced at the phone and it said that the call was coming from my uncle's house. I thought this was pretty odd since he never calls me. So I answered the call and said, "Hello," as is the social norm but there was no answer. I repeated the greeting and this time I heard little children giggling and then the line abrupdtly went dead and I was met with the dial tone. So I call my uncle's house and my 8-year-old (i think?) cousin answers and he's like "Hello?" and I'm like "Alex?" and he's like "Samir Achacha?" (Achacha is a respective term meaning older brother in Malayalam) and I'm like "Did you call?" and he's like "......Yes..." and I'm like "Why did you call?" and he's like "I dunno...I wanted to prank call somebody...and your number is on speed dial..." and I was taken aback by how cute that was. Then we talked for like an hour, touching base on various topics such as the 2nd grade, Mario Sunshine, God, the weather, girls that have broken our hearts, and the Matrix. He's quite a conversationalist. After that I also talked to Annie (7-years-old) and Anthony (4-years-old) and had equally enlightening conversations. Anthony was quite the sassy one. I asked him what he was doing and he replied with "Talking to you...duh..." The wit was overwhelming. I know he will make me proud someday.

Anyway, the rest of the day was dominated by my CS 173 homework which typically takes about ten hours to do. I worked on it with my buddy Jesse (he was in the army and is currently in R.O.T.C; he's also one of the few Engineers that I probably couldn't take in a fight) and luckily Jason lent us his Junior-Status-Electrical-Engineering talents and we were able to finish by 2 AM rather than our normal 4 AM. I was pretty excited by that, but I didn't end up going to sleep until after 4 anyway (damn Dan and his challenging me to get Doom III to work, I showed him though...hehe...).

Fast forward to today. I handed in my CS 173 homework and proceeded back to IT for some breakfast and quality napping. Special thanks are in order for Muzaffar who barged into my room and woke me up at 5:30 PM because if it weren't for him, I may have missed the Goo Goo Dolls concert later that night. So I met up with Mike and Peter at Bromley and of course I forgot my ticket and had to go back and get it. Then we met up with Diana, Maria, and Hillary and we all left for the concert. Then Hillary realized she forgot her ticket (who does that, I mean honestly) and we had to go back again. Finally, we arrived at the concert and Mike, Peter, and I all had floor tickets but we were towards the back of the pack since we were late. Nevertheless, we were still pretty close to the stage. The opening act was Lisa Loeb and here's a crappy picture of her:

The picture definitely doesn't do justice to her hotness. Anyway, after she left the stage, we pushed our way through the floor and got better spots. The Goo Goo Dolls came out soon after and rocked out. I'm not a huge Goo Goo Dolls fan, but they put on a great show and I had a quality time. Here's a pic:

One of the security guys pulled Mike aside and told him that no digital cameras are allowed at Assembly Hall and told him to delete the pictures. But Mike is sly like a fox, and only deleted one picture and made the guy think he deleted all of them. Anyway, some highlights of the show were when they played "Name" and people broke out the lighters and when the disco ball came down before "Iris." Here's a pic of that:

After the show Mike gave Peter's digital camera to a lady who had backstage passes so she could take a picture of the band. Personally, I didn't like the idea because we wouldn't be in the pictures anyway and it would just be like any other Goo Goo Dolls picture that we could get on the Internet. Also, there was no stopping the lady from just keeping the camera. We tried waiting inside but crazy old people kicked us out. Anyways, there were complications and she wasn't able to get backstage, and we waited outside in the cold for half an hour for her to get back. After that I went to Van Doren and chilled with Emily for a while. Then I headed back to Bromley and ate Pokey Sticks with Mike, Peter, and Jessica. Then I dominated Mike and Jessica in Pool. Then I came back to IT and did laundry with Dan. Then it was 5 AM and I am totally exhausted and I am going to end this post because it is too long and I am hallucinating. Good Day.

P.S. - I leave for home tommorow...errr...today, so I probably won't update till after Thanksgiving when I get back. On a brighter note, you have no reason to go on the internet until then, so here's your chance to utilize your time to do useful things such as going outside or exercising...

2002-11-19T23:30:00.000-06:00

Why Is Bill Cosby Holding A Gun?

I don't really have much time to update with anything very funny today. But I don't really care because I'm trying to make the site a journal of sorts without trying to be intentionally funny all the time. I ran into my boy Muzaffar Shah-Khan (sweet name, huh?) today who I hadn't seen in a while. He was pretty tired because of crazy Ramadan. I hope my dad is holding up alright. In case you didn't catch it, that picture is funny because it says "Hello, I'm Mohammed" on it. But yeah, I would have to say that the highlight of my day came when I found out that Assad's girlfriend loves Subway. For those of you who don't know Assad, he bares a slight resemblance to Jared so that's why its quite humorous. Dave was particularly on top of his comedic game today when he commented through AIM that Assad's girlfriend must love Jared "Sub-Consciously." Good times. But anyways, one of my fellow engineers has nearly finished uploading the illegal beta of Doom III to me so I must depart. Hurray for simulated mass murder...

2002-11-18T21:46:00.000-06:00

Less Talk, Mo Rocca

Tonight I saw Mo Rocca of Daily Show fame at the Foellinger Auditorium. I saw a poster for it at the Union and didn't really know what to expect, but I decided to attend anyway. I'm hella glad I did. Rocca was hilarious and they had this big projection screen thingie where they showed sketches that never made it to the Daily Show. One particularly hilarious sketch of note involved Rocca attending the Adult Film Awards. It was especially good because many vuluptuous women flashed the camera. The boobs weren't blurred out either, much to the chagrin of the females in the audience. We even got to ask him questions afterwards. Most people asked him serious questions about politics or about the current situation in the Middle East, but I asked him about his hair which is all shaggy now. I forget what his answer was because I was too nervous about stumbling over any words in my question and looking like a jackass in front of hundreds of people. But I think he gave a funny answer because people laughed. Anyway, I tried to get in touch with Peter to borrow his digital camera so I could take a picture with Rocca but I couldn't get a hold of him. But wipe that sad look off your face! Here's what the picture probably would have turned out like:

Notice the shaggy hair? He was awfully friendly with me for some reason. So all in all it was a good night but I'm sure it will be ruined by another Bear loss. Dan keeps yelling about Leon Johnson so I know it won't be too long now. Oh well, at least the Illini are good...heh...ignorance is bliss...

2002-11-17T19:39:00.000-06:00

When Butterfly Chairs Attack

Or should I say when people under the influence attack? Just kidding. We were completely sober that night. We probably should have been drunk though, to at least explain for our outlandish behavior. That picture was taken in the dark so I had no idea what I was staring at (it looks bright here thanks to the awesome flash on Peter's digital camera that turns night into day). Mike Maravilla is the man posessed by the chair. He's Asian too. But he's an islander so he's not a pureblood like us mainlanders. He's just like Blade except not as badass - sorry Mike. I was supposed to chill with Oliver last night but I was too scared to hang with scary sophomores so I ended up chilling with Mike. Keshan was down here this weekend too and he, Dan, Nirvana, and Chris went to see the Harry Potter movie and I could have gone with them but I didn't because Harry Potter is for kids (don't deny it). It's all good though because I hung out with them Friday night. It seems Mike and I are incapable of having short conversations since we ended up talking until about 5:30 in the morning. It was a great conversation that left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside, and got me thinking about some stuff going on. When I finally left I didn't feel much like returning to IT because I had too much on my mind. I ended up walking around the campus thinking about who I really am and stuff. I felt like Jackie Chan in that one movie where he loses his memory and lives with that tribe and he stands on that building and is like "WHO AM I!?!?!?" It was pretty tight being on the quad at that time also because the sun was just coming up and there was no one in sight. Eventually I returned back to IT and I was about to show "scary old man" (who constitutes for our security) my ID but he said I didn't have to show him and I could go ahead. I thought was a nice gesture, but it wasn't very comforting security-wise. Oh well. I know Dan will protect me if someone breaks into our room...

2002-11-15T19:05:00.000-06:00

Dan Is A Pleasant Human Being

Alright I'm only going to make a quick post now because I'm going to go see Duvall at the Union in a few minutes. The site is coming up nicely and the porn should be up soon. Also, don't friggin' forget to post at the "Comment" links all over the site. Post whatever the hell you want, it really doesn't matter. I know you read the site because I already have 140 hits in 2 days. At this rate I should pass up Dan's site within a few days. Then the circle will be complete...

2002-11-14T21:18:00.000-06:00

The Truth About My Dad's Site

It has come to my attention that some people really think the site referred to in the previous post actually belongs to my dad. Much as I wish that Mohammed had a fetish for all things penis pump, this is just not the case. So did I just decide to make that site in my free time one day? Wrong again. You see, once upon a time many many years ago, Michael Bohac, Dave Landsberger, and I were at the library. We had just heard of this crazy thing called the internet that was supposedly located on computers now. We were immediately flabbergasted by it and marveled at its infinite possibilities. To explore it further we decided to enter our last names as the URL. I don't remember what landsberger.com was, (and I'm too lazy to look it up now) but bohac.com was the site for some crazy politician named Dwayne Bohac. This is funny, one because the guy's name is Dwayne like The Rock, and two because Dwayne Bohac is from Texas, Bohac's home state. When we first discovered the site, Dwayne had started out small, like running for student council or something, but we have since followed his career and he is now running for state representative or something. Keep your eye on him, he'll rule the world some day (if he can overcome some competition). But anyway, I digress. We typed in mirza.com but it said the site was restricted. Wondering why a site could possibly be restricted at the library, we went back to my house and entered in the URL. And, well, the rest is history. It was the day I lost my innocence...and became a real man...

2002-11-14T01:04:00.000-06:00

A New Hope

Alright, welcome to my portion of the internet. I don't have much up right now, except that sweet pic on the left (hehe, ignorant ignorant dan), but rest assured, I have grand things planned. Hopefully I'll have more content than my dad's site (you need to be 21 to enter, I'm serious, proceed at your own risk). I doubt my site will ever be that good but he always told me to dream high. So stay with me in the times ahead and I promise you won't need to go anywhere else on the internet. Well, maybe you'll still need to go to my dad's site for the penis pumps...

2002-11-13T23:40:00.000-06:00

Comment of the Day:
hi samir is it? ok what's up hey im some 12 year old girl and i have a crush on you...my titties are nice
-Heather

2002-11-13T22:24:00.000-06:00

Why do I type "lol" when I am talking to Dan on AIM when he is 3 feet from me...

2002-11-13T21:52:00.000-06:00

testing...

2002-11-13T21:42:00.000-06:00

second post...

2002-11-13T20:42:00.000-06:00

Testing...Testing...1...2...

first post...